Author explains how to apologize, after outbursts by celebs

In this week’s issue of my ezine, I wrote about how Rep. Joe Wilson, tennis star Serena Williams and rapper Kanye West are handing anger management experts and others a perfect opportunity to piggyback their story ideas and expertise onto the well-publicized outbursts.

I suggested that therapists, sports coaches, etiquette experts and anyone else who needs a good angle pitch journalists and bloggers with tips that tie into how to keep cool when the going gets tough.  

Cleveland TV personailty Connie Dieken  wrote something similar at her blog. Her advice on “the art of the apology” is an excellent example of how an expert can share tips and advice to anyone, when a celebrity or politician scews up.

What I love about Connie’s tips is that, presumably, she wrote them long before Wilson uttered “You lie!” They came directly from Page 134 of her book, Talk Less, Say More. (Download a free chapter.)

“Don’t blame the victim.  You’ll sound pompous and insincere.  Don’t begin with ‘If I offended anybody…’ That sounds like you’re blaming a resentful person for being overly sensitive to remarks that you feel you obviously didn’t intend as an affront. Instead, take responsibility. Say something like, “I offended you and I’m sorry.“

“Focus on the recipient.  An apology involves much more than a quick ‘Oops–sorry!’ Make sure the recipient knows that you fully understand the impact of your transgression and that you won’t let it happen again.”


Authors:  Pay attention to stories in the news. If something from your book is a perfect tie-in, offer it to bloggers or the traditional media. Pitch yourself as a guest on a TV talk show. Connie, by the way, is a TV personality in Cleveland, Ohio, and discussed how to be a TV talk show host’s dream date during a teleseminar I hosted several years ago.   

Speakers: If you see a news story that ties in perfectly with one of your keynotes or training sessions, offer yourself as a resource.

Experts: Make sure you’re listed in experts databases, like the one provided by Expertclick: The Online Yearbook of Experts.

Everyone: Create Google Alerts for your relevant keywords, and pay attention to the articles that Google returns to you each day. If you see a good tie-in to a breaking news story, write an online  press release.

And be sure to share your tips with your friends, followers and contacts in social media.

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  • Brisbane Australia

    if only Kanye West had read this…

  • Norman Rockwell Art

    It never ceases to amaze me how, when attempting an apology, people often manage to offend a second time. The only thing worse than an insincere or unapologetic apology is no apology at all. It’s only worse by the slimmest of margins.

    An apology is a chance to undo or mitigate a wrong. It is, more than that, a chance to show how big or small a person you really are. It is a chance to correct a wrong impression. It is a chance to make a friend out of a potential enemy. Just for doing the right thing.

    A sincere apology is a no-brainer. Just picture the other person apologizing to you and say those words.

    And another real plus: the more sincere and even abject your apology, the more likely it is that the other person will say “It was no big deal.”