When you tweet or post on somebody else’s Facebook wall, do you censor yourself?
It’s an interesting question.
Joyce Dierschke asked it at the Social Media Today blog, and it really made me think.
Recently, a Cisco job applicant tweeted his way out of a job. In New York, a PR guy at Ketchum got caught dissing Memphis, a city he was visiting for a client meeting. The tweet made it back to the client, and the client told his boss.
Here are four ways I censor myself on social media:
- Sites like Twitter, where some people bare all, could be a criminal’s best friend. Here and elsewhere online, I never let people know when I’m leaving the house if it’s during a time when it will be unoccupied. I’m aghast at the number of people who do. I also find an incredible number of people I’m following who broadcast when they are going on vacation, where they are going and when they are returning home.
- I don’t share my politics or religion. During the ’08 presidential campaign, I saw people get into ugly shouting matches on Twitter and Facebook over their preferred candidates. If you’re a consultant who wears your politics on your shirt sleeve, I probably wouldn’t refer my client to you if you describe yourself as “very liberal” and my client is “very conservative,” and vice-versa. Nancy Marmolejo, a social media expert who was my guest recently during the teleseminar “Can Your Social Networking Profile Pass the 10-Second Test?” says she also thinks it’s dangerous to mention politics and religion unless, of course, that’s part of your job.
- I don’t use four-letter words but see lots of otherwise bright business people who do on Twitter and in their blogs. A few of them work in the corporate suite and, I’m sure, would never think of uttering those words, including the F word, in front of clients and other business associates. Will one of you offenders please explain why you think it’s OK to do it online?
- As difficult as it is sometimes, I try to refrain from criticizing people publicly. I abide by the saying, “People won’t remember what you said or did. But they’ll always remember how you made them feel.”
How about you? Do you buy into the whole “transparency” argument?
Or do censor yourself? If so, how?
If not, why not?
Thank you so much for sharing this, Joan. Each point that you make is so incredibly important to remember when participating on the various online social networks. Transparency is a very popular buzz word in social media, but one must always keep personal safety as a priority, no matter what your age, purpose of participation or activity level on the internet. It can be so easy to accidentally compromise that safety by being TOO transparent. I truly believe that some things are better left unsaid.
I tend to agree with you. Why swirl contraversy for no real reason? Unless your business is to be brash, political and shake things up, then by all means. But people do need to be aware of how they present themselves online and the effect it will have.
Self-censoring yourself is wise. For instance I have very particular religious beliefs, it’s a big part of who I am. I try to share them in a gentle way that most people would not object to and may even be comforted or inspired by. I need to be true to who I am, but I don’t need to be an annoying poke in the eye to others who may have different views.
Ditto for politics.
I generally “report back” about places I’ve gone rather than announcing when and where I’m going beforehand. I might make a general statement about upcoming plans I’m excited about but no specifics until after the fact.
Of course if it’s one of my gallery openings that I want people to attend that would be different and a very public venue.
There are many times I think something when reading a post or tweet, but I refrain from tweeting or posting back, just as I might refrain from saying it to the person’s face.
I use social media for very specific reasons, to grow my business, connect with art lovers and artists, and to pass on and share interesting helpful info. If the post or tweet doesn’t further those goals, then I don’t bother with it.
I do want people to get to know and trust me but just as in real life I want to make a good impression and be someone who puts others at ease.
One should always remeber that someone is watching and reading. This has been more than evident in the local press such as stated above. If you wish to say something than say it to the person not to the world it will come back to bite in one form or another
I censor myself when it comes to my family – particularly my son. I’ve made a decision to go public and be online. My son has not.
As a result, while I do talk about him in Twitter, Facebook and on my blog, I don’t say his name and I don’t post photos of him.
In this day and age, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I know may people who post photos of their kids but it just makes me uncomfortable so I don’t.
On the other hand, I wrote a blog post about a craft project he did, complete with photo. He was thrilled to be “famous” and my audience really connected with it, but I kept my comfort level.
http://cli.gs/gRWmj4
I saw an interview with Alan Alda where he said some things are personal and some are private. It’s okay to get personal, but keep the private private.
Lani, thanks for the reminder about privacy settings and, especially, your philosophy of writing on other people’s walls. Makes sense.
I agree with you. You should censor yourself because if you would not behave like that in public, then behind the safety of your computer should be no different. Being online and communicating properly is extremely important. All you have (except for videos) are written words that can be interpreted in many ways depending on who is reading it. People will judge you based on words. This is extremely different compared to ‘in-person’. You might say something that is meant to be a joke but is interpreted as a cruel remark. Censoring yourself is important, especially when you are using Social Media Sites.
I don’t think of it as censoring, just being smart with what I post. My Facebook is a mix of friends and professional contacts. When posting, I err on the side of what the professional contacts will think. I still post some personal stuff, but I keep it light and simple. Same with Twitter. I am also amazed by the number of people who curse. While I have not unfollowed anyone for it yet, it has crossed my mind. I don’t mind it, but it seems inappropriate in this context.
I also have to deal with another issue and that is that I Tweet for my work and the people following the organization are VERY different from the people in my personal account. In this case I try to represent only the organization, not my personal opinions.
Thanks for your post!
I’m a ebook and emarketing consultant who left my monkey suit behind a while back–in other words, I work for myself and don’t do any job interviews.
However, you mentioned something good here, about staying positive online. When I lecture about Facebook, one thing I tell people is not to act like they are having a bad day and complain. I show them someone who was running for city council here in Oregon but also had a habit of complaining online about everything. Facebook is so “sticky” in our memories that we remember what people say months or even years later. Facebook is a venue for business people to be useful and say interesting, helpful things, in my opinion.
Another thing is writing on people’s Wall, or them mine. Writing on someone’s Wall gets announced to Everyone by default, including friends of friends–potentially thousands of people. I have privacy settings set so that when I write on someone’s wall, it doesn’t show on the feed to hundreds of people.
Some people make the mistake of saying something personal or anxious on someone’s Wall like “why haven’t you called me back”, forcing them to respond. The Wall, in my view is for compliments and praise, or a “Happy Birthday” statement. If I was expecting the Today Show to call, I would clean up my Wall and delete anything that didn’t serve me on my Wall. I might also change a privacy setting to uncheck a box to prevent friends from writing on your Wall. Since the Wall is your profile, it is what new, important people see about you first. That includes job interviewers, and the Today Show. 😉
Joan,
I see you’re in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, home of the gorgeous Santiago Calatrava designed Milwaukee Art Museum. I’ve been longing to make a trip to Milwaukee solely to see this modern wonder. I’m in New York City, but I’d also like to point out that I’m not originally from New York. I say this in reference to you statement:
“A few of them work in the corporate suite and, I’m sure, would never think of uttering those words, including the F word, in front of clients and other business associates.”
On this point I’d have to disagree. I’ve been in many meetings with E-level and C-level executives. It is a boys club (predominantly men), and they speak like they’re in a locker room. Perhaps not in front of all clients, but among business associates the “F word” is often used as casually as one might offer a cup of coffee. I don’t personally speak this way, but I have found that this is the norm, not the exception.
I’ve moved around a bit, and I’ve learned that a lot of what is acceptable is regional.
Note, this Pace Picante Sauce campaign has been running nationally for about 20 years, but they don’t buy any media in the New York metro area:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSxnieYctVM
However the internet is global. It breaks down the regionalisms. Pace makes a gamble that the number of people they attract by this sort of advertising is greater than the number they offend. When people wear their beliefs on their sleeve, they are taking this same gamble.
On the whole, I really do agree with your article. But I’m going to play some more devil’s advocate here.
There is also a counter argument on the religion/politics point that you may also find many clients that share your views. You suggest not speaking about religion, yet for many in middle America their religious affiliation and church membership are their primary form of business networking. And if you’re Jewish, your name will probably give it away anyway. Likewise for many, political affiliation can be a great source of business networking. Also, if you’ve ever volunteered for a political campaign or contributed money to a political party, like it or not, chances are it is documented somewhere out on the web.
Your point about people openly discussing travel plans is very spot on. It’s also amazing to me how people don’t seem to realize to what degree they’re relinquishing their own right to privacy. On the other hand, I know many people who travel extensively for their jobs and they use utilities like Twitter as an opportunity to network while they travel, so I suspect there is a trade-off there too. Hopefully they are cognizant of this trade-off and take other precautions to balance this vulnerability.
This is probably a good place point out that Facebook has extensive tools for controlling what people can and cannot see in you profile. You can set up groups, segregating online-only connections from business associates from close friends from old schoolmates and define parameters over who can see what. You can even do this on a person by person basis. I use them extensively and encourage others to do the same.
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AND ONE CORRECTION: Your article should read, “Recently, a Cisco job applicant tweeted HER way out of a job.”
The Cisco job applicant known as @theconnor on Twitter is Conner Riley:
http://www.ischool.berkeley.edu/people/students/connorriley
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Best regards,
Chris
I agree totally with you on these points, Joan. To me, it’s just common sense to not broadcast everything about yourself to the entire world. Having read about the comment to the FedEx group and the Cisco almost-hire, I’m very careful to only post/tweet/share things that won’t embarrass me or my colleagues at any time in the future. I also ignore those silly friend apps (on Facebook especially). If I’m using social media for business, I don’t want personal stuff on there (ie. do not send me fake plants…I don’t like them offline yet alone online)….unless it’s relevant to my business in some way.
There’s a fine line between letting your personality shine through and overkill. Some people who do it really well on Twitter are @MariSmith and @pistachio. They’re both have unique styles and both offer tremendous value in what they tweet about.
Some criminals have been caught because of stupidly putting revealing information online.
Some otherwise good candidates have lost interviewed jobs because they put something stupid online – and the prospective boss saw it.
Some rather nice people thought that they could sound off online and no one would notice or care. They were wrong and lost plenty.
Don’t do it. Don’t be stupid. Your mishaps could come back to haunt you.
Perhaps it’s my age, but a certain amount of social etiquette creeps into my social networking. Not enough to squash my personality, but I apply enough caution and sensitivity to my audience (the whole world!)so that my responses are not degrading or insulting. I think that the most successful social networkers do this, but I have to also say that different age groups talk to each other in different ways. Some of it can be insulting, and some of it is perfectly okay.
But I won’t allow myself to cross any lines that would be unacceptable to me. We all have to remember that we are, very often, talking to people with whom we’ve never met, so this is not the time to throw caution to the wind. Besides, ugly comments are uncomfortable to read.
I subscribe to several marketing e-newsletters. I can’t tell you how many I’ve dropped since the first of the year because they started talking politics.
I think every one has a right to their own opinion BUT any person who represents themselves as a marketing expert and doesn’t know not to talk politics is NO expert!
This is fascinating because I just finished reading another blog that was complaining that people are too cautious in the social media world, that they should open up and show their feelings because it is, after all, SOCIAL media. My response to that one is the same as your remarks and many of the comments here. Twitter, Facebook etc. are more like being at a party or out in a big space with all sorts of people around. I certainly wouldn’t verbally yell out all my personal feelings and information in a large room full of strangers, so why would I do it in a big electronic room full of strangers.
Bob, I wouldn’t yell in a room full of strangers either. My feeling is, if others want to bare themselves online, that’s fine with me.
Freedom of speech says that we are free to say/write what we want. However, as the saying goes, with freedom comes responsibility. We all have to take responsibility for what we think, say and do. What is said online stays online, permanently. My friends include friends, staff, former students. I am always careful about my posts and never post negatives, rants, impulsive frustrations.
I have decided not to rehire one of my summer staff this year, simply because of an impulsive one word post.
I think it’s not so much a case of self-censor as being discriminative, considering right proportion and co-measurement.
Bottom line… freedom to be expressive includes responsibility for one’s expression. We can’t just put it all out there and close the door. There is no door to close.
I like your 4. Without thinking about it really i’ve been following these my self.
I also think that people should be them selves when using social media so if a person is all about sharing every aspect of their life, cursing, being left, etc … then i’d expect them to be that way on Twitter 🙂
http://twitter.com/franswaa
I do agree we do have freedom of speech, but it would be wise to be careful how we express it. A lot of company’s do networking to see what kind of new people they can come across, so the pay attention to how people interact with each other. And I believe etiquette is very important on line as will as face to face.